Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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