nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize