I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
