Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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