just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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