well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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