carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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