I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
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Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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