We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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