Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She's the barista slut.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
