These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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