If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
