If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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