I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
