at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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