uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
