i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
