The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
