I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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