so that wasnt chicken after all
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
