The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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