There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
