And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize