We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
