fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Your penis caused this!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
