I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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