I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
