You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
