What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
