You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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