Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
