either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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