his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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