i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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