Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
