Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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