I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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