dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
