Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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