Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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