weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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