I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
