i may or may not be watching the land before time
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Randomize
