As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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