I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
