I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
