roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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