If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
