As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
