After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
