wakey wakey hands off snakey
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
