Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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