I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
