I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
