The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Can you bring me the toilet please
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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