perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
