you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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