theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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