I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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