Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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