it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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