Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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