I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This baby is an asshole
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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