One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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