Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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