Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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