All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So squirting runs in the family.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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