I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
